


Best Laid Plans

by HelenRedy



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Crossdressing, Damian is a little shit, Dick is-Dick, Evil magic, He's such a pretty girl, Jason is an ass, M/M, Nightclubs and Tim dancing, Plans gone afoul, Pray for us all, poor Tim
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 15:36:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11360406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelenRedy/pseuds/HelenRedy
Summary: Tim wasn't happy, but Dick was the one blind-sighted. Jason could laugh about it, but he's too busy saving everyone while Damian plays dress-up. Or what happens when you catch the wrong and right guy at the same time.





	Best Laid Plans

**Author's Note:**

> Two shot I've been working on. My first post here so Yah! Enjoy the first part. Second part will probably be never or possibly a very long time-sorry.

"You're kidding me, right?" Jason folded his arms and leaned against the nearest available surface. He tried hard to contain his shock, "This is your plan? You can't honestly think this will work."

"Of course it will," Dick assured him, "When have our plans ever _not_ worked?"

Jason laughed, "Is that supposed to be a joke?"

Damian pulled at Tim's hair, giving a sound of annoyance and aggravation. Short, dark hair slightly askew, the ten year old was hard at work, looking more disgruntled than usual. Ready to lose it. "I swear Drake if you move one more time I'll.."

Tim made a face at him, "Maybe if you stopped trying to pull _all_ my hair out."

What felt like hours had been spent bickering. Fighting on the plan of attack and all the basics. What type of dress looked best on a budding teenage boy and just how much rouge should be applied to one's cheeks before one looked like a street walker. A very _untypical_ night spent between the young assorted Bat related youths. Tim wasn't happy and he'd voiced this several times to a surprisingly apathetic audience. "Why did it have to be me?"

"Because Jason can't pull it off, Damian's too young, and I'm..well," Dick paused, "red's just not my color."

Tim jumped and Damian howled in frustration. "I told you not to move," The boy chastised, attacking once again with a tube of mascara.

"Now you're trying to blind me," Tim accused.

"So how exactly do you think this is going to work? This guy have a thing for boys in drag?" Jason asked.

Dick shook his head. "No," He paused, "at least I don't think so."

"We watched the surveillance on him. He tends to gravitate towards certain qualities. Young, female and dark haired. Considering how absurdly long Drake's hair has become, he was the perfect option," Damian said. He held up a ripped piece of a red silk, "We found this at the spot the victim was last seen at before her disappearance. It gave us the DNA and what we're assuming could be a color preference of the kidnapper."

"Red huh?" Jason smirked, "Man's got a good taste in color."

"I look ridiculous," Tim Drake said to his reflection in the mirror. He blinked several times, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get the mascara out of his eye.

"No, you don't." Dick Grayson assured him while buttoning the last button on his shirt. He looked over and he tried to keep a straight face. "You look.."

"Ridiculous," Tim repeated.

Dick took a second glance and shrugged his shoulders, "Don't worry, with the lighting in this place, you'll be fine. Nobody will even be able to tell."

Tim crossed his arms. He wasn't buying Dick's act for one second. "I _still_ look ridiculous."

"I second that."

Dick rolled his eyes, "Not helping, Jason."

Jason Todd saddled behind Dick, draping an arm over the smaller man's shoulder, "Hey, it's the truth. This was a stupid idea to begin with," He paused, appreciating the smell of Dick's cologne before continuing, "You should have let me do this my way. Would have been a lot easier. _"_

"You know we can't do that," Dick said, pulling away from him, "And he looks fine."

"I do _not_!" Tim clacked a heel on the ground in protest.

Jason smirked while Dick tried, rather unsuccessfully, to hold back a smile himself, "Come on Dickie, look at this," Jason reasoned, still amused. "This is probably one of the most pathetic things I've ever seen in my life. Don't make the kid do this."

"I don't think it's so bad," Dick defended. It wasn't as bad as it could have been. Tim seemed at least passable. Who would have guessed Damian had a knack for fashion? The red went perfectly with Tim's skin tone.

"You look as good as you're going to Drake," Damian said, a can of hairspray in his hand, "You should be glad I was able to do this much. It certainly wasn't easy."

Tim shook his head, a dark wave of hair fell in his face. He pushed it away, "I don't think I can do this. Let's find another way."

Damian jerked Tim's head, "I said to stop moving!"

"But this was your idea," Dick protested.

"When I said go undercover," Tim gestured to his current state, " _This_ is not what I had in mind."

Jason sighed, but couldn't help a small smile, "Wow guys, not your best. Not by a long shot. I'm telling you I could just take care of it. Might leave a little mess but at least you'd save a therapy session or two."

"We're all aware of what kind of mess you'd leave and _no_ we're not killing him, just apprehending," Dick gave Jason a meaningful look. "Remember that."

"Whatever you say, Fabio. You're plan. Not mine."

Dick turned to Tim, "But if you're really that uncomfortable.."

"Uncomfortable?" Tim questioned. "You try wearing this..this.." He motioned down at himself. What he wore seemed indescribable, " _thing_ and tell me how comfortable you'd be."

Dick smirked, "I would, but it just looks so much better on _you_ , Timmy."

Tim scowled at him, "That's _not_ funny."

"You're right. I'm sorry," Dick agreed. His face was solemn, but there was an incline in his pitch that indicated he wanted to laugh.

"You're an ass."

Dick patted Tim's shoulder, "Don't worry Timmy it won't be that bad, I promise."

Tim gave up any struggle and let the man have his way. "Famous last words," He mumbled.

Dick brightened, his blue eyes all but sparkled, "That's the spirit."

Jason added his two cents, "This is still really stupid if you ask me."

"Good thing no one did," Damian snapped.

Tim groaned, "I think this makeup is poisoning my eyes."

"Drake, move one more damned time and I swear it will be the last thing you ever do."

Jason shook his head, "Really stupid," he repeated.

\---

 _Lover's Luck_ was surprisingly easy to get into. With how packed it was, how long the line had been, this seemed a feat in and of itself. Either Tim's fake rack was better than anyone gave him credit for or the bouncer was more of an ass guy. Tim's ass did look pretty good in the little red number.

If only Tim's dancing was as up to par.

The club was small, but crowded. Bodies lined the dance floor in a rhythm that no matter how hard he tried, Tim just couldn't copy. Mastering the bo staff and doing three consecutive back hand springs, no problem. Trying to keep a groove to the music pounding in his ears and not bowling people over, _big_ problem. Two more couples backed away from him. Tim unwittingly was creating his own bubble. No one wanted to be around him for fear of bodily harm.

Dick had the opposite problem, suave and smooth, he had so many people swarmed against him it was hard to reach Tim long enough to lean close. "Tim you're supposed to be attracting this guy, not taking out everyone in your path."

Tim's teeth grit as he stumbled on his heel again, "I'm not like you Dick, I don't dance well to begin with and with these things it's damn near impossible."

"Relax, you're too tense," Dick winked. "Use your hips."

Two rather grabby, impatient women pulled him back before Dick could say more. They acted like they couldn't get their hands on enough of his body but Dick seemed all too happy to give them the chance to try.

Tim scowled. It was likely, even in a pair of six inch heels, Dick would still be more nimble and agile on the dance floor than him. True Dick had his own weakness, his attention for one was very quick to lose focus and his IQ was decidedly less than Tim's, but still. He was way better at attracting people. Dick was a people person. Tim, not so much.

Tim hated this.

Tim hated this and he wanted off the _damn_ floor. He'd been at this for over an hour and all he'd gotten thus far was a headache from the terrible music. He was exhausted and beyond aggravated. No amount of using his hips could turn him into the woman he was pretending to be. It was time to call it a night. The plan was a bust.

"Never seen you around here before," A voice whispered in his ear.

Tim jumped. His heels gave way once again and he felt the weightlessness of nothing as he fell back towards the ground. He cursed his shoes for the hundredth time that night. A strong, firm hand reached to catch him before he ass planted the floor.

It took a minute for Tim to breathe again.

Tim's blue, mascara coated eyes opened to the dim yet pulsing light above him. It wasn't doing any favors for his suddenly nauseous stomach. He righted himself and the world steadied again.

"You alright? I didn't mean to startle you."

"Yeah I," Tim stopped. He could hardly believe his eyes. Or his luck.

It seemed impossible. Too good to be true.

It was _him_.

The target. Vinnie Mandelhoff. Presumably the man responsible for Tim's friend Carrie's disappearance. Tim had watched the surveillance tape too many times not to recognize the man. Tall, broad and smarmy. The last man Carrie had been seen with.

Maybe the plan wasn't such a bust after all.

A blindly white pair of teeth shone at Tim, "First time on the floor?"

Tim nodded shakily, "Yeah. Sorry, I'm new to this whole.." He searched for the right word, "..scene."

Warm brown eyes sparkled against the light. "Nothing to be sorry about." The voice pleasantly chimed, "If everyone else in here looked half as good as you do, I'd let them fall over me all night long."

Tim flushed, "Err, thanks. I guess." He stuttered. He had no clue what he was doing.

"You can thank me with the honor of a dance."

It was doubtful as to how that would be considered an _honor_ , but Tim obliged anyway, "Okay."

The man pulled him even closer than he already was. Tim had to swallow a sound of disgust when the man placed his hand a little too far down his backside. He searched frantically for Dick, but couldn't seem to find him.

Tim inwardly cursed. Just like Dick to disappear at a time like this.

"So tell me, _little dragon_ , what brings a pretty little thing like you to a place like this?"

Tim frowned at the name, the tone it was said in, and how slimy Vinnie sounded, then he realized what he meant. The Asian theme had been the deciding factor for which dress Damian had unforgivably stuffed him into. Damian spoke of the strength the design held, but no amount of strength could replace the fact that the dress was too short and too slutty. Tim felt like an overdone, Asian themed whore.

To reply to Vinnie's question, Tim fell coy. "Oh, you know, needed to unwind a little."

"Well you came to the right place."

Tim smiled and gave a fake giggle Damian had made him practice. ( _No Drake not like that. You sound like a drowning toad.._ ) "So I've heard."

Vinnie observed him, "You seem so young, though. I wouldn't put you past seventeen."

Tim tried not to panic. It wouldn't do well to get kicked out now because of his age. Dick swore to him earlier he looked at least twenty one in this getup. But Dick was also known to lie. "I just look young. I go to the university..college and stuff."

Vinnie smiled wide enough to show a single gold tooth near the back, "Hey, I ain't no cop, doesn't make any difference to me."

Somehow that wasn't anymore reassuring. Vinnie was obviously way too old for Tim, girl or not. He had to be at least in his mid thirties.

"Actually, I heard about this place from a friend of mine, _Carrie,_ " Tim enunciated the name. "She told me this was the place to be."

Vinnie only smiled, not looking the least bit concerned, "That so?"

Tim nodded, bringing more hair into his already flushed face. "Yep. Carrie," He repeated, "Short, dark haired girl, blue eyes, flower tattoo on her right arm. Ever seen her in here before?"

Vinnie's head shook. "Can't say I have," If it were possible he moved even closer, "To be honest, I'm not really into girls with tattoos. They're not all that appealing to me," He smirked, "Not like you."

Tim had a hard time keeping eye contact, "Really, not even a little?"

"Nope," Vinnie said dismissively, "I've always preferred the ivory pureness of unmarked skin," His hand moved up Tim's back, "like yours." He murmured. Tim's cheeks colored and the hand fell away, "But enough about that, why don't you tell me more about yourself?"

Tim gulped uncomfortably, "Not much to tell really."

A laugh, Vinnie wasn't going down that easy, "How about we start with a name?"

 _Shit._ Tim hadn't thought that far ahead. He grabs the first name he can think of, "Stephanie."

"Stephanie," Vinnie mused, "I like that. I'm Tony."

An alias, not surprising. The man probably had tons of them. One for every girl he picked up.

Tim tried to get some more breathing space, "Funny you don't look like a Tony."

Vinnie or rather 'Tony' chuckled, "Well sweetheart to be honest, you don't look much like a Stephanie either."

Tim quickly turned the tables, before Vinnie could bring up anything else he didn't look like, "What about you? Do you come here often? You seem to know your way around the place."

Tony shrugged, "Not really. Enough to know the crowd, but I wouldn't call myself a regular or anything. But don't worry, there's still a lot I can teach you."

Tim held back a shudder, but pretended interest, "Like what?"

Tony's face turned a smile Tim didn't much care for, "I'm sure I could show you a couple things you might like."

Tim planted a smile of his own, "Really?" This was going too well, too easy and Tim wasn't going to let this opportunity slip. He had to find Carrie and anyone else this monster might have abducted, even at the risk of being embarrassed.

The music continued it's hypnotic waves and while Tony seemed all too enthralled with it, Tim just wanted to run, find Dick and get the hell out of here. Jason's plan wasn't looking so unreasonable anymore.

"Let me be frank, Stephanie." Tony stated boldly. His voice lowered. "I like you, a lot. This place is starting to seem a little too noisy and I find you very appealing. How about we bust this joint and take this somewhere more private?"

It took everything Tim had not to slug him. Aside from a few throwaway lines, the guy had creep written all over him. Hitting and groping on young teenagers, admittedly pretending to be older, but still, flapping that smile like it was made of pure diamonds. He definitely needed to be stopped. Tim didn't show his obvious distaste, much as he wanted to. "Yeah, that sounds.." He fumbled alongside his feet. "..fun."

Tony chuckled, "Fun. That's good. You're really something special Stephanie. I can tell."

He had no idea.

"Just let me go..powder my nose and I'll meet you in the front," Tim had to let the others know the situation. And get this guy's hands off his ass.

Tony winked, "Sure babe, whatever you want."

Tim took off, before he could think of a reason to stay, or why this was a terrible idea. His heart pounded as he headed for the one place more terrifying than anything else he could possibly imagine.

The ladies restroom.

\---

Jason was freezing. It was colder than shit up here and his back was getting stiff. It had been over an hour now. He was bored and a little hungry.

Sitting it out on the top of a club, freezing and just a tad bit irritable, Jason wasn't having the best of Friday nights.

It felt appropriate to blame Dick for the situation, but the idea was just as much Tim's fault too. The dress was Damian's input, but that was neither here nor there. Next time it would be Dick's ass up here freezing his nuts off till kingdom come. Jason would make sure of that.

 _"I got him,"_ Tim's voice cracked in a whisper.

Thank God.

"About damn time," Jason stood with a stretch that cracked down his back. "What took so long?"

 _"You try dancing and wooing a perv that abducted your friend and not kicking him the balls. It's not that easy."_ Tim sounded really pissed.

"Whoa, slow your roll tiger. I got it," Jason raised his hands, even though no one could see him. "Dickie, you there?"

It took a minute for Dick to respond. He sounded a little breathless, _"Here."_

 _"I'm leaving with him now,"_ Tim cut in, _"Cover me."_

 _"Be careful Timmy,"_ Dick said.

"And what about me?" Jason asked in mock hurt.

Dick took a moment to respond, _"Make sure he doesn't get hurt. Or I'll hurt you."_

Jason grinned, "Tease."

 _"Will you two quit it? I'm heading back now,"_ Tim hissed in a near whisper, _"Watch for me."_

"Yeah, yeah," Jason knew the drill, "I got you."

Tim's pout could be heard, _"And just so you guys know. I'm never doing this kind of shit again."_

Jason kept his eyes at the exit, "That's no language for a lady, Timmy."

"Stephanie."

Jason blinked, "What?"

Tim sighed, _"Nothing."_

A minute later and Jason saw them. Tim and the creeper with the bad haircut. They left out the back and headed for a nearby motel. A very _seedy_ looking motel. Jason cringed. Whatever that creeper thought he was going to do with Tim, he had another thing coming.

Jason cracked his knuckles, "Gotcha, you son of a bitch."

\---

Tim counted to ten.

Backwards and forwards.

 _Several_ times.

It was a myth that doing such a thing might calm someone's nerves. By the twentieth count of ten Tim was ready to lose it.

Tony was grabby, really grabby.

He latched onto Tim like a leech and refused to let go. His weight and height kept Tim from politely being able to move from under his arm. It was awkward and way too close for comfort. The man was bigger and stronger than Tim and he knew it.

The size wasn't really the issue, Tim just wasn't used to being manhandled in such a way.

Such an _intimate_ way.

When Tony had said private, he meant it.

The motel, appropriately named as such, was nothing short of a hovel that most respectable women wouldn't be caught dead in. It said quite a bit about what Tony thought of Tim, what kind of 'girl' he appeared to be. It was a wonder how Carrie, or any other woman, could ever have fallen in with such a man.

"Nice, huh?"

Tim didn't quite manage a nod, "It's..something."

A large hand fell on Tim's back, "It'll be good. I promise."

Tim shifted awkwardly, "Um..okay."

The check in was surprisingly difficult to endure. Tim wanted to die of embarrassment, he tugged at his dress, but it kept riding up. The drag queen behind the counter eyed him Tim he-she-whatever it was waited for Tony to shell up the cash. She-he obviously didn't give two shits that Tim was underage, but she-he did seem to appreciate the view.

She-he handed over the key and gave a parting, "Fabulous dress, dollface."

Tony grabbed Tim's hand, and ass, and took off to the room. Tim looked behind him, assuming someone would at least try to stop what was obviously happening here, but no one paid him any mind. It was no wonder why people like Tony got away with abductions so easily.

The key slipped into the lock.

The room was small. Too small and too crowded, but it looked clean. _Mostly_. The most disturbing part was the heart-shaped bed and mirror on the ceiling. This wasn't just a dump motel, it was pay by the hour.

Classy.

Ice cold hands moved across Tim's shoulders.

"After you."

The first breath on his neck caused a swell of panic down Tim's back. He pulled just out of Tony's reach, putting on a false smile. "Um..before we," He swallowed, not ready to voice the idea, "Can I go to the bathroom real quick?"

Tony's brow rose in question, "Again?"

"Sorry, I think I had too much to drink earlier. I'll be right back." Tim slammed the door to the bathroom before Tony could protest. He rested against the wood for a minute and heaved a sigh.

"Great plan, Dick," Tim mumbled. "Put Tim in the dress. Hilarious," He stared at his reflection in the mirror above the dripping sink. His eyes were red from the makeup and his boobs were slightly uneven. He adjusted himself, "Everybody laughs. Except me."

Jason's voice cracked, _"You do know that talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity, right?"_

Tim frowned and wiped a smudge of eyeliner under his eye, "Speaking from experience I'm sure."

"Never said otherwise."

"Whatever," Tim mumbled, "Where are you?"

"Right outside. Nice place, by the way. Paying by the hour. Your boy's got class."

Tim rearranged some curls, "He isn't my boy." His lipstick needed to be reapplied, but he didn't have any.

"This is all going pretty smoothly."

"Says the guy wearing pants," Tim grumbled.

 _"I'm serious,"_ Jason said, _"If we keep this up we'll have your girl back before the night's over. I really thought this plan was gonna blow, but I guess I was wrong."_

Tim certainly hoped so, "Yeah, but let's try not to jinx it."

 _"Well you'd better make sure you get your groove on then,"_ Jason suggested _, "Be careful though. Not too groovy. Give him a little milk, not the whole farm. If you know what I mean."_

Tim shuddered, "Not a problem."

 _"Jesus Timmy, you're reeking the virgin vibe,"_ Jason laughed, _"Loosen up a little."_

"Screw you," Tim hissed.

Another laugh, _"You wish."_

Tim stormed out, but not before flushing the toilet so Tony wouldn't get suspicious.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah I," Tim stopped. Tony stood by the garish bed, looking too relaxed and at home with an easy air, a few loose buttons on his shirt. He had a drink in his hand. Tim watched it warily, "Sorry. I'm fine now."

"That's okay," Tony put on his creepy smile again, "You're new at this." He raised the smudged glass in Tim's direction, "Drink?"

"No, I think I'm.."

The glass was shoved in Tim's hand before he could finish, "Come on. It's the good stuff. It'll help you relax."

"I don't need to.."

"If it helps," Tony cut in, "I'll have some too." He raised a second glass, "It's not drugged or anything." He took a sip to make a point and smacked his lips, "See? It's good and not exactly cheap. I'd hate for it to go to waste."

Tim didn't believe that as the wine _did_ look pretty cheap, "Thanks, but I think I've had enough for one night," He tried to reason.

"We're still talking so I'd say you haven't," Tony purred.

Tim swallowed, "I like to talk."

Tony's hand reached for Tim's face. "I'm sure you do."

Tim fell back, away from Tony, but also right on the bed. Sprawled in a very unladylike fashion.

"Straight to business, I see," Tony's grin turned wolfish, "I like that."

Tim's eyes widened, "No I don't, you see.."

"No need to explain," Tony dipped on the bed, looming over Tim and lowering himself even closer, "You don't have to use your words," He breathed.

The sheets were silk and slippery on Tim's back. He slipped away easily causing Tony to hit the bed underneath him face first. Tony gave a muffled yelp.

"Look, there's something I need to know first," Tim stuttered out, catching himself against the wall and as far from Tony as he could.

Tony winked, "I always use a rubber, don't worry."

"That's not what I meant," Tim felt his face burn, "I know I'm not the first girl you've brought here."

"Don't let that bother you."

"I just want to know," Tim licked his lips, suddenly very warm and thirsty, "who else have you brought here?"

Tony gave him an odd look, he frowned, "What does that matter?" He leaned back a bit, "Why do you care?"

"I have a missing friend," Tim said honestly.

Tony narrowed his dark eyes, "I'm sorry to hear that, but I still don't see what that has to do with me."

Tim felt his anger growing the slightest bit, "She was last seen with you. Isn't that a bit of an odd coincidence?"

"What the hell?" Tony asked. He looked around, seemingly nervous, "Are you some kind of cop or something?"

"Not quite," Tim knew it was now or never, "I'm just looking for my friend, Carrie. I think you might know where she is."

Tony actually looked annoyed. He huffed, "That again? Look I don't.."

Tony lost his breath. Or more appropriately, it was crushed out of him. He wheezed a hard breath and fell on his back against the bed pressed hard by a strong pair of thighs. Jason was fast. The balcony door barely had time to open and shut before he was straddling Tony into the mattress. "Jesus Timmy, you really don't know the meaning of the word _subtlety_ , do you?"

"Who are you?" Tony demanded.

Jason pressed his gun at Tony's temple, "Shut up, that's who I am."

"Is this supposed to be some kind of turn on or something," Tony's face was disgusted. He squirmed, but Jason held fast, "Because I'm totally not feeling it. I'm not into guys, or threesomes for that matter."

Jason turned down to Tony with a smirk, "As if you could get with this," He snickered, "Nope. Sorry buddy, this isn't some sick sex-escapade. This is very real and so is this baby," His gun clicked. "Now we're going to ask you some questions and you're going to answer them," He pressed the gun closer, "You got that, Romeo?"

"I already told you, I don't know any Carrie. Hell, I don't know what _he's_ even talking about," Tony pointed to Tim, "What girl? I don't know _shit_ man. I mean it."

"He?" Tim's face fell, "Wait? You knew I was a boy?"

Jason couldn't help another laugh, "Told you it was bad. See what happens when you trust Dick and Damian with things?"

"Of course I knew," Tony choked out, "I thought that was the point."

Tim held a hand, "Wait, you just said you weren't into guys so if you knew.."

Tony shook his head as if it were obvious, "You've got a lot to learn sweetheart. Just ‘cause I knew doesn't mean you can't pull off the look. You fill out a dress kid, even if you don't have all the right parts."

If possible, Tim looked even more disturbed, "And you really would have still, even though.."

Tony shrugged, "To each his own."

Jason rolled his eyes while smashing the man further so he could barely breathe, "Just what a sick pedophile, boy dress wearing lover would say," The gun stayed its course on Tony's forehead, "So you gonna tell us what you've been up to, why you've been stealing girls off into the night, or do we have to get ugly?" Jason's smirk betrayed his sympathetic tone. "I'd hate to bloody up the sheets," Tony paled but Jason didn't relent, "You gonna tell us or not, _Vinnie_? As fun as this is, I don't got all night to play around with sperm waste like you."

Tony swallowed, his eyes threatened to engulf his face. "Look, I don't know," He stopped, "What did you just call me? That ain't my name"

Tim sighed from his corner, "Oh come on Tony, the gig is up. We all know you're real name is Vincent Mandelhoff, Vinnie for short. We also know you've been kidnapping girls from Lover's Luck."

"Yeah Vinnie, Vin, Vincent, hell I don't care if your name's _happy clown ass bandit_ , where are the damn girls?" Jason demanded.

Tony's eyes roved from Jason to Tim back to Jason again. "My name is Tony Mann and I have do idea who the fuck Vincent Mandlehoff is or what the hell you two are talking about. I swear on my mother."

Jason _tsked_ , "Playing stupid isn't going to.."

Tony cut Jason off with a cry, "I'm not playing, man. I really have no clue what you're talking about."

Jason scoffed, "Now why don't I believe that?"

Tony sounded more panicked by the second, "It's true."

Jason looked up at Tim who merely shrugged, "Damian and I watched the tapes, it's him."

"So he's a lying bastard on top of being a kidnapper? Wow pal, you've just gone up my shit list. Congratulations."

"I told you I'm not!" Tony's voice rises, "I didn't take anybody!" His voice gets louder and louder until he's all but yelling.

Jason had enough of the screeching, "Christ, will you shut up?"

Tony's voice fell off as flesh met steel.

Tim's eyes grew wide, "Jason!"

The flash of anger directed at him made Jason shrug, but he hardly looked apologetic, "Sorry, force of habit," He pulled the gun back and the body fell limp.

Tim groaned in exasperation, "Did you have to knock him out?"

"I didn't mean to," Jason was still smiling, "Poor bastard's gonna have one hell of a headache."

"This is _so_ not helpful right now," Tim groaned, "Do you think he's telling the truth?"

"Doubt it," Jason said, "But I know how we can find out for sure."

Tim sighed, "I'll get Damian on the line."

\---

Dick sighed in relief. He'd escaped and finally pried himself from the crowd. _Finally_ he could breathe his own air. Even he had to admit that too much of a good thing was really tiring. The sounds of disapproval at his leaving were loud and boisterous. He apologized, but he'd had enough.

Good time aside, now he had to focus on Tim, Jason and the mission. He wasn't worried, the two were more than capable, he just wanted to be ready in case they needed him.

His watch showed it was only ten thirty. The night was still relatively young. People, both young and old continued there dancing. He managed his way, reaching the bar for a little space to hide away awhile.

"You were pretty good out there," A voice hummed in approval.

The speaker was the only man at the bar, he wore a pair of sunglasses and an easy smile. His suit was worn and frayed. It fit him well, but he seemed out of place. He looked _odd_ , especially with the shaded eyes. Not unattractive, just strange. Different.

Dick threw him a carefree smile back, "Thanks." He tried to sound casual, nice, but not overly so. Usually a quick way to end a would be pick up.

"You must be parched. Can I buy you a drink?"

Or not.

There was always a fast mover in these places, this guy was no exception.

Despite any thoughts that he indeed could use a drink, Dick wasn't so desperate or stupid to take such an offer. He needed to stay away from any distractions, focused, "Thanks, but I'm good."

The man shrugged. He didn't seem bothered by the rejection, "Suit yourself."

Dick sat down and waited. He was tempted to call Damian, but signed it off as a bad idea. Damian was mad about being left behind and the likelihood was Dick would be ignored anyway. With Bruce being gone to some meeting or rather, somebody had to hold down the fort and there was no way Dick could sneak a child into a club. Tim had been pushing it as it was.

The stool shifted next to him. He looked to see the man had moved closer.

"I don't mean to bother you again, but do you have a light."

Dick shook his head, "I don't smoke, sorry."

"Ah, right. Well would it be too much trouble to ask you for one of those ashtrays then?"

Dick obliged. They were closer to him after all. And despite appearances, the man seemed more bored than anything, "Yeah, here you go."

The man inclined his head, "Thank you." He placed the metal tray by him and motioned with his unlit cigarette, "You don't mind if I.."

"Oh no, go ahead," Dick wasn't a prude. He didn't approve of it per say, but with Jason and his habitual smoking like a chimney at times he'd learned to at least accept it.

"I wasn't sure if you had a problem with it. I know some non smokers find it offensive."

Dick shrugged, "Not really. I have a friend and he's pretty addicted. I don't exactly like it, but I've gotten used to it."

The man let out a small, dry laugh, "Yeah I guess addicted is the word isn't it? I've tried to quit, but I just can't seem to stop no matter how hard I try." The man flicked some ash, "I really wish it were easy as they make it seem. If only you knew how many times I've tried to stop. It's pathetic, really."

"You're trying, that's something," Dick assured him.

The man smiled, "I suppose that's true," His tone turned sheepish, "I'm sorry if I keep bothering you, I don't meant to be such a pest."

Dick chuckled and mussed his hair, "It's alright, you're not being a pest," He assured the other man.

The cigarette smashed out in the ashtray, "I sincerely doubt that's how you really feel, but thank you." He motioned to the ashtray, "For that as well. That was very kind of you."

Dick nodded and turned back, feeling somewhat restless. This was the part he hated. The party, the dancing, he could do that. The waiting, sitting on his hands so to speak, that was another story. Damian was out of the question and he didn't feel much for dancing anymore, he needed another way to pass the time.

"Something on your mind?"

Dick wasn't sure if he was quite annoyed with the interruptions yet. The man sounded genuinely interested and Dick really had no one else to talk to, "Not really. Why do you ask?"

A nod indicated towards Dick's hands, which had been drumming the counter, "That, for one."

Dick stilled his taps and sighed, "Sorry. I guess I'm just a little antsy is all," He pulled his hand back when the bartender looked at him too, more than a little irritated. Dick motioned an apologetic gesture.

"You seem a little distracted by something."

Dick gave a slight chuckle. The man seemed nice enough, if a little pushy. Lonely, maybe. The bar area did seem unusually empty and quiet, "I guess you could say that."

"You want to talk about it?"

Dick shook his head, not ready to go that far, "Not really."

The music had a good beat and Dick wondered if he wouldn't be better off back on the dance floor. The man was looking at him again, The lenses of his sunglasses gleamed in the low light.

Sunglasses in a club, it was definitely weird.

"A shame. I think you'll find, I'm a pretty good listener."

"I'm sure you are. I just.."

"Don't trust a stranger. I get it," The man downed the glass in front of him, "You're a smart kid. Parents taught you well. I tell my son the same thing."

The man looked in his thirties, but didn't seem the family type.

"What about you? You seem a bit young, but any kids?"

Dick shook his head, "Not yet."

"But it appears you don't have any problems attracting women, do you?"

"I," Dick wasn't sure how to answer that, "I do alright."

"I'm sure you do."

Dick got a sudden prickle at the odd response.

"Maybe I should go now."

"No please," The man almost shot out of his chair to stop him, "I didn't mean to seem uncouth. It was merely an observation and I've just been feeling so down lately, it's nice to talk to someone. I didn't mean anything by it."

Dick nodded, the unease still there, but not quite as intense as before. "Okay, I'm waiting for someone anyway." It seemed safer to establish that, "My boyfriend."

Instead of turning the man off in anyway this seemed only to garner more interest and Dick cursed ever opening his big mouth.

\---

"It's not him."

Damian's deadpan sounded even duller over the phone.

Jason finished tightening the last of the zip ties, effectively binding their captive to the heart shaped bedpost.

"Are you serious?" Tim asked no one in particular.

Damian continued, "How did this happen?"

Jason motioned at Tim, "Talk to boy genius here. I'm just here for the looks, this plan is all you guys."

Tim was completely confused himself, "I don't understand," He pointed at the body, "It looks just like him."

Damian's disapproval, his head shake could almost be heard over the communicator, "His DNA says differently."

Jason poked the unconscious man with his gun barrel. On closer inspection he observed something that made him groan, "So does his hair. Creep's wearing a rug."

Tim frowned, "There's no way. I'm pretty sure I would have noticed that."

"Really?" Jason reached over and grabbed the hair right off the other man's head, "You sure about that, Timmy?"

"I.." Tim stuttered. He crossed his arms, unintentionally showing off a rather impressive amount of cleavage.

Jason wagged a brow, "Nice rack."

Tim huffed and released his arms, "So he wears a wig, big deal? Maybe Mandelhoff wears a wig too?"

"That doesn't explain the DNA," Damian pointed out.

Unfortunately Tim had no rebuttal for that, "Well that's just great. Are you telling me I just got molested for no good reason?"

"I don't know if I'd say it was no good reason," Jason joked, "At least Damian got his chance to play dress up like he's always wanted."

"Excuse me?" Damian asked.

"Come on guys, don't start," Tim griped. He already had a headache.

"Oh please Damian, we all know your secret dreams of fashion design," Jason laughed, "I wonder what your father would think if he found out."

"How dare you!" Damian screeches, "That's a complete and utter lie!"

Jason remained calm, "You know what they say about denial, don't you _little bird_?"

"Guys," Tim cuts in tiredly, "Is this really the time for this? It's not like either of you had this weirdo's hand up _your_ skirt."

Damian scoffed, "Of course not. What kind of self respecting male wears a skirt?"

Tim balked, "But you're the one who.."

"Oh I don't know," Jason interrupted, "The same kind of male who keeps a hair curler and makeup at the ready," He studied his gun casually, "Never know when they'll be a fashion emergency, right Damian?"

Damian's voice cut like a knife, "Say something like that again and it will be the last thing you ever do, Todd."

"Guys."

Jason's smirk grew, "Don't threaten me with a good time, squirt."

" _Guys."_

"Don't think for one moment that I won't end you."

"Promises, promises," Jason sang.

"GUYS!"

Jason and Damian stop, "Jeez Timmy, you don't have to yell."

Tim gestured Jason in the direction of the bed, "He's awake."

Jason's smile lit a bright white, "Oh goodie. I could really use something to hit."

Tony groaned, "You've got a kid involved in this too?" He asked groggily, "You sickos need some serious help," He tried to get up, but realized he couldn't, "The hell is this?"

Jason watched him struggle, amused, "The only person who needs any help here is you, pal."

"Look, I already told you I don't know anything. Come on man, you gotta let me go. I ain't into any of this shit."

Jason held the wig out for Tony to see, "Look familiar?"

"Where did you.." Tony attempted to look at his own forehead and went cross eyed from the effort, "Give that back!" He demanded.

Jason twirled the wig around his finger, "Now why is it that a man with a full head of hair such as yourself would go around wearing a wig? I'm hoping you'll be more honest with me this time, because my patience is wearing _awfully_ thin."

Tony snorted, "This is Gotham, guy. Weirder shit than that happens all the time."

"I'll give you that," Jason agreed, "but something tells there's a bit more to it than that."

"Look, when some weirdo puts a hit out on your family if you don't do what he says, you don't ask questions."

"Somebody put you up to this?" Tim asked.

Tony tried to shrug, "You could say that."

"Someone you know?"

Tony shook his head, "I've never seen him too good, so I don't know. It's always dark and my only instructions are to put on a wig and find different people to make the moves on," He looks at Tim, "You're the first one I've had to lure away from the usual spot though. Usually he meets us in the same place and takes them away. I don't know where, I'm not allowed to ask questions."

"And you haven't gone to the police about this?"

"Do you know what he'd do if I talked to the police?" Tony shook as he asked, "I'm probably a dead man just talking to you lot."

Tim was flabbergasted, "Don't you realize what you were doing? You're getting these girls hurt, possibly worse."

"It ain't always girls," Tony corrected, "and honestly, I'll take my wife and kids over some people I don't even know. Even if I wanted to stop, I can't, not if I want my family alive."

"So you let innocent people die? You sick mother.."

"Wouldn't you?" Tony asked.

Jason fell quiet, but Tim pressed on, "You didn't see anything that might help identify him?"

"What the hell is it to you people?" Tony peered at them, as if for the first time, "Seriously, you're awful pushy for a bunch of kids. Are you working for the cops or what?"

The gun went back in Tony's face, "Answer the question."

"I..I already told you, it's always dark. Although," Tony mused on it, "there is something odd about him."

Tim leaned closer, "Odd? Like what?"

"His eyes," Tony said, "they're, I don't really know how to describe it. They're really weird."

"How so?" Jason asked.

"They're..I don't know, but I can't stop looking at them. No one can," Tony laughs weakly, "I mean it's crazy, right?"

"What is?" Jason was getting a little tired of the stalling, "Spit it out already."

"Yellow," Tony answered, looking somewhere Jason nor Tim could see, "His eyes are yellow."

"Yellow?" Jason pondered, "You mean he had jaundice?"

"No I mean, where most people's eyes are blue, brown, green or what have you, his are a bright yellow. Like a snake's," Tony licks his lips, "Look none of that matters. All I know is I didn't kill nobody. I'm innocent, really."

Tim heaved a sigh and looked at Jason, "I think he's telling the truth. He's the scapegoat, not the killer. He was the one caught on the cameras, but we were thinking too small. The only cameras we could find him on were the ones in the club, anything outside of the area, they all seemed to malfunction at just the right time. We have Mandelhoffs DNA but his picture is wrong."

"Or the point was to make him look just like Mandlehoff, in case he really did need a scapegoat," suggested Damian, "By the time anybody realized it wasn't him, Mandlehoff would already be long gone."

"I don't care about any of that. He's," Jason pointed at Tony, "an idiot and he's letting people die, so I wouldn't exactly call him innocent."

"He didn't kill them though. I don't think he knows what else to do. He's a coward, not a murderer and his DNA doesn't match," Tim looked crestfallen, "This really was a waste. Who knows where Vinnie Mandelhoff could be now. We're all the way back at square one and Carrie is still missing."

"Not necessarily," Damian chimed in, "If Mandelhoff was using a decoy to keep us occupied, he knew someone was watching him, but chances are he'll still be looking for a victim tonight. His arrogance won't let him go home empty handed."

"Takes a creep to understand a creep."

Damian ignored Jason, "Think about it, what did we miss?"

Tim put a finger to his lip in thought, unintentionally smearing his lipstick, "I thought we were spot on for what he was looking for. Young, female, dark haired, and apparently liking the color red."

"Not red," Tony said with a sigh, "It's blue, he likes dark hair and blue and like I said, it ain't always a girl."

"Don't remember saying you could speak, asshole."

"Jason stop it," Tim commanded, "He's actually being helpful. So he likes dark hair and blue, anything else?

"He's got a certain," Tony searched, " _type_ I guess. Attractive, sociable, the charismatic sort, popular, that kind of thing."

"Carrie always was the life of the party. She was wearing red, but her eyes are blue," Tim agreed, "And where does he usually take them?" He asked Tony.

"Dunno, there's usually a car waiting for me," Tony groaned, "I don't know why I'm telling you this."

Jason patted his cheek, "Because you don't want you balls blown off, that's why."

Damian's voice flashed in, "If you two morons could think for more for two seconds at a time, you'd realize we did this all wrong.”

“First sane thing I’ve heard all-”

"No Jason," Tim's eyes widened at the realization, "Damian's right."

Jason blinked, "He is? Right about what?"

Tim bit his lips, inadvertently getting lipstick on his teeth, "Think about it.”

Jason was still lost, “Think about what?”

“It's Dick. Everything he’s said, it's all Dick."

Jason shook his head. He opened and shut his mouth several times, each time attempting to say something only to fail. His brows furrowed as he thought and rethought. His mouth finally opened again and only two words rolled out, "Well _shit_."

Tim frowned. He tried to reach Dick, but the line was dead. "Damian, we screwed this up. _Bad_."

Damian had no response, but his lack of words was an admittance in and of itself.

Jason shook his head at them both. "Next time, leave the planning to me." His mouth lifted in a smirk, "Luckily, I have an idea."

His eyes landed on Tony who shivered at the gaze.

\---

"You sure you don’t want a drink?"

"No. Thank you."

What Dick really wanted was for Tim and Jason to hurry up, so he could get the hell out of here.

The man continued, despite Dick's lack of interest, "His name is Richie, my son. He's a real good kid, a little rebellious sometimes, but hey, I can't complain. Even when he strays, he always comes back home."

Dick nodded distractedly, it was a little more information than he needed, "That's good of him."

The man sighed, "Sometimes I wonder if he's upset with me. His mother left us and I often wonder if he blames me for it."

"I'm sure that's not true," Dick reassured, even as he felt odd for doing so.

"You think so?"

"Well," Dick gestured awkwardly, "I mean, I guess so."

Another shot was placed on the bar, "Sounds like appeasement to me." The man paid the bartender, "It's alright though. I often wonder what things would have been like If I'd done it all differently." The man sighed, "I guess it's too late to worry about that now though."

Dick was running out of reassurances, but he didn't want to seem rude, "I'm sure you've done the best you can."

"I know you're just saying that," The man said, he chuckled, "You're naive, but it's cute," He toyed with the rim of his glass, his tone fell lower, "Charming even."

"I've been called that once or twice," Dick laughed.

"I can see why."

Dick looked away to hide a flush. The conversation was getting a little too personal.

"You're eyes," The man paused, "They're very blue."

Dick's brows furrowed, the statement was a bit unnerving, "Yeah, I guess they are." He responded.

Dick shifted uneasily. Things were getting a little too weird.

"They're beautiful. No. They're perfect." The man's hand fell on Dick's. The chill against the warmness of Dick's skin seared like a shard of ice.

Dick tried to pull his hand away, but the man's grip was surprisingly strong, "Thanks but, um.."

Not good. Definitely not good

"I really think I should.." Dick stopped.

The man's sunglasses swept upward and off his face. What shocked Dick wasn't anything to do with his face as a whole, which was pretty ordinary, it was the man's eyes. They stood out vibrantly against his otherwise normal face an odd gold color, almost catlike. They were creepy. But more than that, they were _enchanting_.

"..go."

The man smiled and shook his head, "No, I don't think so." Dick felt the men at his back before he saw them, "I think you should stay right here."

Dick swallowed, he felt immobilized. He nodded, only because he felt the gun at his back.

"Perhaps we could try this over again," The man raised the glass. "Drink? And after that, let's say you and I go for a little drive."


End file.
